BON VIVANT DINER, RIP
The BVL was born at this Greek diner
on 12th Street and Broadway over 2 cheeseburgers, an omelet and 3 cokes.
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‘CHOSEN ONE’ GETS PAID; OWNERS OKAY BONILLA BID
MYRTLE BEACH, SC—Delay. Delay. Delay. Add David “Big Papi” Ortiz to the list of items that interfered with the smooth running of the 1951 BVL Owners Meetings. Ortiz, according to multiple sources, distracted New England boss Dylan Simonds from his draft responsibilities. The two men were busy… partying, according to a source. The draft was paused a week when Mr. Adam Goldberg took a cruise to the Bahamas to celebrate New York’s championship. He went dancing with dolphins (this is true). Mr. Robert Fermann, on the other hand, jumped on a plane, wearing a disguise, to Europe to escape the toxic Banksville press. Yet, despite these delays, Robert Emrich noted, nothing could hold back the BVL from completion. Freddie Freeman and Max Scherzer, the top two free agents, left as very rich men. Andy Wong made sure Freeman, aka The Chosen One, would wear a Scrapper uni, signing him to the largest contract ever, worth 126 shekels (surpassing Zach Greinke’s 108s). But hold on. Freeman’s huge payday will be short-lived. Next spring, Scherzer will earn 198s after the Indianapolis boss, Andy Villalba Jr., signed the pitcher to a staggering 5-year deal worth 858s. "What a waste," said Jon Simonds. For the first time, Pete Stratigakis gave the State of the BVL Speech. "It can only be glorious when playing among friends," he wrote. "Long live the BVL." Yes, those were tears of joy sliding down the cheek of Andy Villalba Sr. The owners approved revisions to three current clauses, plus the Bonilla Bid. Qualified free agents are now eligible for 7-year contracts. Chairman Fermann ended the gathering after New York drafted Matt Mervis. No more delays--1951 begins.

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